Finding Darkness
by LightAmongTheShadows
Summary: SPOILER! Do not read if you haven't watched Episode VII! Ben was born into a family of heroes. Their greatness is known by the entire galaxy, their faces on the covers of history books. He was raised believing that nothing could tear the close-knit clan apart... until he does it himself. A story made up of insights into Ben's journey towards the Dark Side, starting at age six.
1. Chapter 1

**SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN "** _ **THE FORCE AWAKENS**_ **!"**

Ben Solo was sitting cross-legged on the brown rug in his room, a fork he had stolen from the kitchen curled in his little hand. His dark brow was furrowed as he stared at it with intense blue eyes. His eyes narrowed. Maybe it was a concentration thing? He just had to focus more.

Ever since his Uncle Luke had visited, Ben had become fascinated with something that the man had referred to as the Force. It was basically magic! Luke could lift and move things without even touching them. He didn't do it much, claiming that it wasn't the Jedi way—Jedi was always what the man always called himself, maybe it was the type of magician he was—but when he did, Ben took notice. He had immediately ran up to his uncle and begged to learn. But the man had just laughed and ruffled his hair. _"Someday, Ben, I promise,"_ he had chuckled. _"I can tell you'll be good at it. When you're older and ready, I'll be more than happy to teach you everything I know."_

But Ben didn't want to wait until he was older. He had never been the most patient child. He had decided he would teach himself. He just hadn't anticipated it being this difficult. Getting frustrated, he set the fork down and stood up. Smoothing out the jacket he was wearing, he couldn't help but smile. It was an exact replica of one that his dad used to wear when he was a part of the Rebellion. When his mother had bought it for him, he had been happier than he had ever been. He was practically bursting with pride when his dad smiled fondly, straightening the collar on his own jacket.

 _"You look like a real winner, kid,"_ he had praised.

Ever since he had gotten it, he had only taken it off when his mom made him. He loved it. He wanted to be just like his dad when he grew up, and this was the first step. Looking around his room, Ben could clearly see elements of both of his parents. Toy ships seem to sit on every surface. He had a couple shelves full of them, and there were also a couple on his bed. That was clearly his father's influence. His dad was a pilot. One of the best. But his wallpaper was adorned with the forests of Endor. There were pictures of different planets on his walls, each labeled in perfect handwriting. A mobile from several years ago hung from the middle of the room. It was a replica of Alderaan's star system. His mom's home planet, before if had been destroyed. All of that just sang of his mother.

Ben bent over and picked up the fork. He took a deep breath and walked over to his twin-sized bed. He adjusted into his cross-legged position, wrinkling his blue comforter. He held the fork in front of his eyes and stared at it. He did his best to imagine it twisting and turning, concentrating on getting the actual utensil to do the same thing. Nothing happened. Biting his lip, he tried thinking the command over and over again. _"Bend, bend, bend, bend,"_ he repeated mentally.

The fork shone back at him, reflecting one of his blue eyes. He watched it narrow with his frustration. He could feel his face warm. He felt as if the stupid hunk of silver was mocking him. "Bend, you dumb fork!" he told it, aloud this time.

It didn't seem to care. The stubborn piece of cutlery just stood ramrod straight, unmoving. He was getting truly angry now. This would've been child's play for his Uncle Luke, why couldn't he do it? His uncle had said that he would be good at it, why had he lied to him? Did he want him to make a fool of himself?

The six-year-old couldn't stop himself. "BEND!" he shouted, his anger flaring up.

His rage roared within him, seeming to flow out of him. It entered the air and for a second, it was as if he was enveloped in a bubble of his own fury. But it didn't stop there. The bubble turned to red hot steel. He was almost crushed under the weight of his sheer frustration. However, it didn't stay on him. The molten steel seemed to shift, all falling upon the fork. The utensil seemed to scream. It twisted, writhing in what almost looked like pain. It curled into a perfect spiral. The rage evaporated, replaced by amazement.

Surprisingly, Ben didn't feel drained. He felt... powerful. He had done it. He had moved the fork with nothing but his mind. He had used the Force! Just like his Uncle!

Fork in hand, he threw the door open and ran out down the hall. He found his mom sitting up at their counter, reading something. Her brow was furrowed, and there was a small frown on her face. She looked up as he entered the room, and smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Hi Ben," she greeted. "Is something wrong, sweetheart?"

He waved the fork at her. "Mom! Mom, mom, look!"

Her eyes widened. "Did you do that?"

"Yes! I did it! I did it with my mind! Just like Uncle Luke!"

"What? How did you do that?" she asked, a note of pride in her voice. Her smile seemed real now, as she set down the paper and walked over to see him.

He tried to remember. "I, I just, I, I..."

"Calm down, Ben," she laughed.

He nodded. "I just got really angry at it, I guess, mom, but it was so cool! I felt it bend! With my mind!"

"You got angry at it?" the smile fell from her face. Alarm entered her eyes.

"Yeah," he answered, confused now. He stopped grinning too. "But mom, I did it with my mind. I used the Force, just like Uncle Luke," he reasserted.

She seemed distracted now. "Ben," she took the fork from him, making him frown. "Can you show me?" she moved across the kitchen and grabbed another fork from the silverware drawer. "Here."

He looked at her suspiciously, but nodded. Focusing on it, he tried to do what he'd done last time. The result was much faster this time. He let his anger build, and this time, he didn't even need to say it aloud. His fury rose up and bent the fork without as much effort as last time. His mom gasped.

"Ben, no!" she exclaimed, sounding panicked. She practically snatched it away.

Hurt, his eyes widened. "Why did you do that?"

"Oh, Ben..." she set the fork down and came forward and hugged him tightly. "You can't use the Force like that, honey. I know you don't understand, but you just can't do that anymore okay? Using the Force when you're angry is dangerous."

"But that's what Uncle Luke does," he sniffed.

"No, your uncle uses peace and calm to move do what he does. Not anger and frustration."

He looked at her with sad eyes. "I don't understand." His lip quivered, a sure sign that he was going to start crying. "Why does it matter if I'm mad?"

She opened her mouth to try to answer again, but that was when his dad entered the room. The man saw them and immediately stopped. "What's going on? Why is Ben crying? What'd you do, Leia?"

"Han!" she protested, turning to glower at her husband. "This is serious. Ben was using the Force."

"Well, I guess you win that one, then. He does take after your side of the family. I mean, yeah, the Skywalkers are insane, but is that really worth crying about? Luke does the Force thing, and he's not that bad."

"Han!" she chided again. "He bend that fork," she explained, pointing at the counter. "With his anger."

"Oh," Han's manner changed a little. "Well..." he came forward and looked at his son. "He didn't know, Leia. You can't be too hard on him. How about this, kid?" he bent down and grinned at his son. "You don't try to use the Force anymore, and I'll take you for a ride in the _Falcon_."

"Han! You can't just take him for joyrides in that piece of junk every time he gets upset!"

He chuckled. "Sure I can. Can't I, Ben?"

The little raven-haired boy had perked up almost immediately at the mention of his dad's ship. "Yeah!" he cheered.

"Han!" Leia put her hands on her hips, a serious look on her gentle face.

He rolled his eyes. "You say my name like it's a curse word, Leia. Relax! The kid loves it. Let's go, Ben. If you want, I'll let you sit co-pilot with Uncle Chewie."

"You're going to call Uncle Chewie?" Ben exclaimed excitedly.

"I still can't believe you insist on having him call that furball 'uncle,'" the woman murmured, tucking a strand of loose hair back into her messy bun.

"If Luke can be an uncle, then so can Chewie," Han retorted.

Leia scoffed. "Luke is actually my brother!"

"Yeah, yeah," Ben's father dismissed her, taking his son by the shoulder. "Come on, Ben!"

The little boy was glowing. "Bye mom!" he said enthusiastically.

She couldn't stay angry at him. She just sighed. "Fine. But I swear, Han, if you get him any sort of dessert while you two are out, there will be hell to pay!"

"Love you too, Princess," he smirked, though she had long-since lost the title of Princess.

She rolled her eyes but gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Ben smiled. It wasn't every day he got to ride on the _Falcon_. He boarded the ship eagerly, the events with the fork long forgotten.

 **A/N: I really hope you guys enjoyed that. I fell in love with "** _ **The Force Awakens**_ **," and I just knew I had to write something about it. I found Kylo Ren to be the most intriguing character, so when I came up with an idea, I ran with it. This is the first Star Wars story I've written for Fanfiction, so I was a little nervous to publish it, but I think I'm pretty happy with the result. I haven't decided whether to leave it at a one shot, or turn it into a full story. Anyways though, please leave a review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, kid! You want to come get the door and see who came to see you?"

Ben had been sitting on the floor, playing with the model X-Wing that he had just received for his eighth birthday. At the sound of his father's yell, however, he immediately stood up, practically dropping the toy. He ran from his room, a huge grin spreading across his face. He almost tripped on the new pair of pants he was wearing. They were a little too long for him, but his mother swore he would grow into them. With them, he wore a gray t-shirt and his jacket. It was getting a little too small for him, but still he refused to take it off. There was a tear in the armpit area of his right sleeve, and the stitching around the back was beginning to come loose. It didn't matter. He wouldn't give it up. It seemed some days that his mom had to practically beg him to take the thing off so she could wash it.

"Who's here, dad? Who is it?" Ben cried excitedly, sliding a little as he skid around the corner. He broke out in a sprint as he saw both of his parents standing by the front door, smiling. "Who?"

"Why don't you come see?" his mom invited, her brown eyes gleaming.

He raced up to them. Putting his hand on the doorknob, he looked to both of his parents. His mom nodded, and his dad gestured for him to go ahead. He yanked the door open.

"UNCLE LUKE!" he cried, his whole face lighting up.

"Hey, Ben!" the blond greeted, grinning widely. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too!" Ben shouted, overtaken by excitement. He embraced the Jedi. "Where were you? I haven't seen you for a really long time, I thought you'd gotten eaten by a Sarlacc or something!"

Luke laughed. "I came close once," he admitted, a dimple on his left cheek standing out. "But that was a long time ago. I've just been busy lately."

The raven-haired boy's eyes widened. "Busy?" He thought about this for a second, and then gasped. "Uncle Luke," he leaned forward and conspiratorially whispered, "have you been doing top secret __Jedi__ stuff?"

Ben's uncle shot him a grin that was strangely reminiscent of his brother-in-law. It was easy to tell the two were close friends. "You got me, Ben," he whispered back. "But don't tell, okay?"

He nodded eagerly. "I won't." He turned back to his parents. "He's just been busy," he told them, speaking loudly now. He tried to wink at his uncle, but it turned out looking more like he had something in his eye.

"Whatever you say, kid," his dad smirked, crossing his arms, though there was a twinkle in his smile. "Sounds like he was just busy, Leia. Nothing secret going on there. Definitely nothing related to the Jedi."

"Mm, no, I don't think so," she agreed. "Just normal business, I think."

Luke smiled widely at this, thoroughly amused by their reactions. He put a hand on his nephew's shoulder. "I think we fooled them," he whispered, chuckling.

The little boy nodded, though he knew his parents were just humoring him. But he didn't want to break that to his uncle. The man seemed so happy at the idea that Han and Leia didn't know about his secret Jedi affairs. So Ben shot his parents a look that he hoped let them know that they should keep playing along. Turning back to Luke, he grinned falsely. "Yeah, we did," he responded, nodding confidently.

The Jedi's hand dropped and he laughed again. "Great," he said enthusiastically, looking at Han and Leia with what could only be described as joy. For some reason, it didn't seem to last long. A more somber attitude befell him and he cleared his throat. "Now, Ben, I meant to tell you earlier. I got you something. Sorry it's late, but I was off-world for your birthday party. Don't worry, though. I think it's a pretty good one. I had it ordered just for you. A friend of mine owed me a favor." He reached into the pocket of his brown robes and pulled out a rectangular box, about the length of his forearm. "Here. I hope you like it."

The box was plain, without wrapping paper or any sort of garnish. It was just a brown box. It almost looked like something a jewelry company would use to hold a necklace. A very large necklace. Ben took it cautiously. It was... odd. He held it in his hand for a second, making no move to open it. He stared at it at length, trying to figure out what was within. He was a little baffled. He was really good at guessing his gifts before he even opened them. His mom said he was almost too good at it. He, most times, could look at a box and immediately know the contents. Of course, he had learned as he'd gotten older not to voice this. It tended to upset the gift-givers. They would accuse him of cheating the system. Peeking beforehand, or eavesdropping on a conversation, or something else. He'd made many a well-wishing adult turn red in the face. Now he had just learned to open it and put on his best "surprised face." It was still a pretty cool talent, though. It was like he had x-ray vision or something. He couldn't describe it that way, however, considering that he didn't really see the items. He sensed them. He could just tell what they were, almost like a gut feeling.

For one reason or another, however, this gift was different. He could sense __something__ in the box. It wasn't empty. Whatever was inside just wasn't talking to him. It wouldn't reveal itself. He turned his gaze to his uncle, brow furrowed.

"Why..." he started, his face displaying bemusement, "why can't I tell what it is?"

"You have to open the box, kid," the pilot of the __Milennium Falcon__ advised, eyebrows raised. "Remember?" He leaned over to Leia, and out of the side of his mouth murmured, "He really does take after your side of the family."

She made a face at him. "Be quiet, Han!" she disapproved, punching him in the arm.

"This doesn't make any sense," Ben voiced, still staring at the box with wide blue eyes.

Han looked at Luke, frowning. "There is something inside, right? You didn't just get the kid a box, did you?"

"No, I didn't," the blond responded evenly, not removing his eyes from his nephew. "What's wrong, Ben?" He sounded like he already knew very well what was wrong. There was the slightest hint of a smile on his lips.

"I can't see it. I know that it's there, but I don't kow what it is."

"The box, kid," Ben's father tried again, sounding tired. "Take it out of the box."

Luke laughed. "It's okay, Han. Ben's not crazy." He tilted his head. "But he does take after our side. Ben, you can normally tell what your gifts are before you open them, right? You can always guess, and you don't even know how. You just always know, even though you haven't peeked or anything." He looked to the boy for confirmation, and the raven-haired youth nodded, thoroughly surprised by this turn of events. "You can't tell with this one. You know it's there, but you have no idea what it is."

Shellshocked, the eight year old blinked. "How did you know all of that?"

He chuckled, but made no move to answer the question. "How do you do in school, Ben?" he asked, the change of subject making both of the other adults exchange confused looks.

"Luke, what are you talking about?" Leia's forehead scrunched up in the way that it often did when she didn't understand something. A mild amount of frustration showed in her warm brown eyes. "What does school have to do with any of this? Ben does really well in school."

"Kid gets the highest marks in his class," Han boasted, puffing his chest a little. Pride was clear in his features, which made Ben smile. He loved making his dad proud. "Teachers are always saying he's a quick learner. One of them called him gifted a while back."

"Is that true, Ben?" the Jedi questioned.

Ben couldn't resist grinning a little. "Yeah. I always know the answers to their questions. Sometimes it just jumps into my head, before I even realize I've learned it. I was the only one to ace our history test last week, and I didn't even know I knew some of that stuff."

His uncle's eyes gleamed, their blue strikingly similar to that of Ben's. "That's great. I wouldn't have expected any less." Suddenly, he closed his eyes. Concentration showed itself on his face. Then, he opened his eyes and went right back to talking. "But back to your gift. What is it now?"

The boy didn't understand his uncle. Did the man not get it? Was he confused? They had just discussed this. __He couldn't see it.__ Reluctantly, however, he halfheartedly looked down. The parcel suddenly felt different. It was like a sheet of metal had been removed from in front of it. He could sense it without a problem in the world. He gasped, nearly dropping it in shock. "Uncle Luke..." he couldn't even bring himself to finish his sentence.

"You know what it is?" Luke asked carefully, watching his nephew closely.

"Yes!" he breathed, finally opening the box. "It's a lightsaber!"

Sure enough, he pulled out a gleaming silver hilt. Both of his parents' jaw dropped, twin looks of disbelief on their faces.

"Luke!" Leia scolded scornfully. "You didn't!"

Even Han, who was clearly the more laid-back of the pair, seemed outraged. "What are you, nuts? You want the kid to kill himself. Great idea, genius. Give the eight year old a __laser sword.__ Fantastic. Look, I know that you Jedi don't get out much, but that whole hermit thing has clearly taken you off the deep end."

"I can't keep it?" Ben inquired fearfully, clutching his present to his chest. "But... but... it's __mine,__ " a note of anger entered his voice. A strange look entered his eye, and it almost seemed like the boy took a defensive stance.

Luke gaped at him. "Ben, what are you doing?" he asked, shocked.

The boy stopped. "What?" The odd tone had left his voice.

The man hesitated, but shook his head. "Nevermind." He tried to sound jovial, but it just came across as kind of pained, "Don't worry, you two," he addressed his sister and her husband, smiling a little. "Believe it or not, I'm not oblivious. I understand that lightsabers are dangerous for children. That's why I had my friend make me a fake one. It lights up, it makes noises, but it doesn't actually get hot in the way that a kyber crystal does. It actually uses a different type of crystal entirely. With all the features of the real deal, but unable to, oh, say cut off someone's arm. It couldn't actually harm anyone. It can't cut or burn anything." He scratched his chin. "It's kind of the child-friendly version."

Clearly excited that he didn't have to worry about the dangers of it, Ben activated the lightsaber. Its brilliant blue blade blazed into existence. He was mesmerized. "Wow..." he gazed at it, spellbound.

"It's just like the lightsaber I used to use, Ben," Luke explained softly. "And that one will be yours too... when you're old enough."

His eyes lit up, their color just shades away from the saber itself. "Thank you," he whispered.

"That was very nice of you, Luke," his mom sounded genuine, but something else plagued her voice. "Now, Ben, how about you go play with your new toy in your room? Your father and I need to talk to your uncle."

"What?" Ben's face fell. "But—"

His dad grinned at him. "Don't worry about it, squirt. It's just boring adult stuff. Right after we're done, you can come out and we'll have dinner. I figure your uncle will be able to stay until tomorrow, right, Luke?"

"Of course," the man confirmed smoothly. "And after dinner, I'll show you a couple of fighting stances you can practice with that."

Ben perked up, encouraged by the two men he admired most. He nodded, unable to contain his excitement at this prospect. "Okay," he agreed. Switching off the model saber, he ran off to his room.

He reactivated the toy and waved it around. To be honest, it felt awkward in his hand. He tried changing the way he was holding it, but it didn't help. In all honesty, he felt like an idiot. The lightsaber almost felt kind of bulky, he couldn't imagine fighting with it. Nonetheless, he kept brandishing it at the wall. He jumped around, the scenario playing in his head far different from the real one. In his mind, he was fighting bad guys, defending the honor of his family, being a hero.

He could already see himself as a Jedi. Dressed in brown robes just like his uncle, a peaceful smile on his face. Someday, he would help restore peace and justice to the galaxy, just like Luke was trying to do. He understood now that Jedi were more than mere magicians. They were warriors. They were guardians. They protected the galaxy and everyone in it. They maintained balance in the universe. When the evil Intergalactic Empire had risen and taken over, it was a Jedi—more specifically his uncle!—that had come out of hiding to help the rebellion restore freedom to the galaxy's citizens. He had heard the story a thousand times, but he still never tired of it. How incredible was it that __his__ parents had been a part of the rebellion? That __his__ parents had played such a huge role in the fall of the empire? That his parents were actually in history books? His family was a legendary one. He knew he was lucky to be a part of it.

"You have to be crazy!" his dad's voice rang out from the hallway. "We're not going to let you whisk Ben away because you're 'a little worried' about him!"

Ben blinked. He dropped the saber, eyes wide. He walked towards the door. He put his ear to it, his curiosity overwhelming him.

"Han, listen. I've been talking about doing this for a long time. Leia and I have talked about it. We think it's important that more Jedi come to exist," Luke asserted, sounding wary.

"And that's great. Go train more of them. Just leave my son out of this!" Han yelled.

His mother sighed. "Han, I think Luke may have a point. I'm worried about Ben too."

"He's fine! He's a good kid! He doesn't need to go spend his life obsessing over this Force crap!"

"That—"

"No! Look, I get that the Force saved our hides several times on that Death Star. And I know that it's worked for you. But it ruins people! Look at your dad, for god's sake! He wasn't the first to be destroyed by that damn thing, and he won't be the last!"

Ben could hear the frown in his uncle's voice. "Look, Han. Ben has outstanding Force potential. He uses it constantly without even realizing he's doing it. I shielded the saber from him, and he was confused. He's been using the Force to figure out what his presents are, and to pass tests. He doesn't know that's what he's doing, but it is."

"So what? So he has to use it to become a Jedi like you? If this Force thing is really a problem, then teach him how __not__ to use it!"

"The fact that he's using the Force isn't a problem in itself. Though it is rare, it's not entirely unheard of for someone his age to begin to find the Force on their own. But to find the dark side..."

"What?" his father said sharply.

"Leia told me about what happened with the fork. It was concerning, Han. Really concerning. I've never heard of someone so young being able to use the dark side."

"That was two years ago," Han retorted hoarsely. "He hasn't done it since."

"But doesn't it worry you?" Leia inserted. "That's not normal! Han, we need to make sure that if Ben continues to use the Force, he's using it the right way!"

Luke was clearly growing tired of arguing this. "Han, please. Give me until the anniversary of the fall of the empire. Just a couple Galactic Standard months."

"He's eight!" Han began to sound desperate.

"I know. When the Old Republic existed, they taught children as young as four. They would bring them into clans to learn together, up until they were around nine," he said thoughtfully. "But I don't think they need to be that young. I think they need a chance to attend ordinary school, so they can learn to read and write and have a chance to get a normal education. I want them to be old enough to be able to figure out if they want to spend their lives as Jedi. Currently, I'm taking twelve year olds. Ideally, I would wait for Ben to be the right age, but... I think it's important he starts right away. We can't continue to let him contact the dark side."

"It was __one time__!" Han yelled. "He's not ready for this. Don't you think he'll be behind the other kids?"

"No. On the contrary, I fear he may be ahead."

Leia's voice sounded kind of sad. "Han, please. Give Luke until the anniversary. If we decide we really hate having Ben so far away, and that it's not good for him, we can pull him out."

"Tell me one thing, Luke," Han growled. "Did you see something about my son?"

There was a tense silence. Ben waited with bated breath, his head spinning. He couldn't even process all of this. The dark side? A school for Jedi? He was being invited? What was going on?

"I tried," the blond admitted. "I meditated about it, and tried to catch a glimpse of Ben's future."

"What did you see?" Leia prodded gently.

"That's actually the problem. I didn't see anything. His future was clouded. It was obstructed by something. From my experience, the only thing capable of doing that is the dark side. One way or another, it is in his future. I don't know whether he's going to fight it, face up against it, or give into it—"

"My son is not a villain!"

Ben had never heard his father so protective of him. Normally that was his mother's role, whereas his dad tended to be more relaxed. This was entirely new territory.

"I'm not saying—" Luke stopped suddenly. "Oh no." He sighed heavily. "Ben, come out from there." He didn't raise his voice at all, his tone stayed entirely even.

The boy sheepishly opened the door, fear in blue eyes that looked so similar to his uncle's. "Am I a bad person?" he whispered.

"No," Han asserted. "No, kid, you're not." He shot his brother-in-law a glare.

"Of course not, honey," Leia comforted as well, coming over to hug her son. "That's not what your uncle is saying. He's impressed by what you can do. He wants you to come train with him as a Jedi."

"Really?" Ben's mouth fell open. "I thought I was in trouble," he confessed.

"No, nothing like that!" Luke tried to smile, but it was strained. "You're very talented, Ben. Remember when I told you I'd teach you to use the Force when you were ready? Well, I think you're ready."

"Oh wow!" His face absolutely lit up. "I'm going to be a Jedi! Can I go?" he turned to his parents, absolutely beaming.

Leia turned to her husband. "It is up to you, Han," she sounded mildly reluctant. "But I trust Luke. I think this is what's best for Ben. He'll be one of the next generation of Jedi. It's a good thing. It's not because we think he's bad, it's the opposite. It's because we believe that he's good."

The pilot's arms were crossed, and his expression was borderline furious. He glowered at Luke with steely green eyes. "I don't like this." He turned to Ben and his gaze softened. "Ben, is this really what you want?" he asked.

"I want to be a Jedi, dad," Ben's gaze was pleading. "I want to help people, and I want to learn to use the Force."

Silence once again hung in the air. Finally, Han spoke. "Fine. You have until the anniversary," he grumbled, "after that, we can pull him out if we want to."

"Deal," Luke agreed, holding out his hand.

Begrudgingly, Han shook it.

Ben couldn't believe it. He was going to be a Jedi. He was going to train with his uncle. He was going to learn to use the Force. This was the best thing that had ever happened to him!

He couldn't explain the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 **A/U: Sorry this took so long. I haven't had Internet, since I've been moving. Anyways, though, I really hope you like it!**


	3. Chapter 3

Ben practically clung to his uncle as they approached the temple. His blue eyes were wide with anticipation. His breath caught in his chest. This wasn't what he had been expecting at all. When he had heard they would be training on Coruscant, he had imagined it being part of a skyscraper, another building in the city skyline he had heard so much about. Another tall, illuminated structure that screamed enterprise and industry more than peace and sanctuary. None of these were negative thoughts to Ben. They were just what his father had told him about the planet. It was all he knew of it, really. He had seen pictures and read about it in history, but his dad's opinion was the only he had ever really heard.

Despite having flown to what must have been half of the planets in the galaxy, they had never visited Coruscant. It was often described as the bright center of everything, the capital of lights, the city of new beginnings. It was the New Republic's central location. The beacon of democracy. People raved about it, proudly talking about all that it represented. But Ben's father had informed him, quite aggravated, that Coruscant was an abomination. It had been a hive of scum and villainy, not to mention the home of the empire. The palace where the emperor himself had lived still stood, though they had attempted to repurpose it. It was now the Senate building, and loaned itself to other functions within the New Republic. Certain rooms were used for negotiation, certain rooms for legislation, and certain rooms for mediation. He supposed that this was supposed to be some sort of symbolism. Turning the bad into good. Turning the home of oppression into the home of freedom. It was supposed to be a feel-good sort of thing. It was to give the citizens of the galaxy the sense that they had overcome the evil they had previously faced.

But his father had made it clear that despite the new shiny coat of paint they'd put on the canvas, the stain underneath remained. He was almost entirely certain that nothing had really changed. He had said more than once that at its core, Coruscant was still a dump.

So, obviously, Ben had been fearing the worst. What he had found was entirely different. They were a ways away from the city. Though most of the planet was densely populated, parts of it were actually kind of wooded. That's where they were. A few miles out from the city in every direction. It was kind of hilly, with emerald green grass and large oak trees. Given as it was autumn, the leaves of each tree were tinted orange. Cheery blue skies greeted them from above, only ever obscured by the occasional fluffy white cloud. It was so peaceful. Exactly where Ben would've envisioned a Jedi to train their Padawan, had he not known Coruscant was in the equation.

On one of the flatter hills sat a building. It almost looked like a cottage in structure, but it was far bigger. The roof appeared to be thatch, and the walls were made of old brick. Despite how ancient it looked, the temple was actually recently constructed. A few of the Jedi who had been hiding throughout the empire's reign had come out to help the man construct it. There were only a handful left, which was the whole reason for this "Jedi Academy" in the first place.

Nonetheless, Ben had a feeling this temple wasn't exactly like others. It probably wouldn't have even been considered one by the Jedi of old times. But it was theirs. Whether it fit the requirements or not, it was theirs. That was all that really seemed to matter.

"Uncle Luke," Ben asked slowly, swallowing hard, "how many kids are going to train here?"

"More and more every year," the man began slowly, as they started the trek up the hill. "This year I'll be taking seven, besides you."

Ben's eyes bugged out of his head. "Seven? That many?"

"I know it seems like a lot. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed myself, but you have to understand. I want to train the next generation as quickly as possible. I was originally going to take more, but I can't handle too many kids at once. Right now, it's just me. Maybe by next year, I'll have convinced a couple of the remaining Jedi to help."

"Why wouldn't they?" the boy asked curiously. "Don't they want to help train more Jedi?"

"Of course they do," Luke assured him. "They've just lived in fear for so long. They're so used to distrusting the government that they believe the New Republic is letting this Academy exist so they can get all the existing Jedi into one place and then finish them off. I understand their concern. After Order 66..." he trailed off, pain entering his eyes. He shook his head, as if to clear any stray thoughts from his mind. "I just hope they come around."

Ben wanted to ask about Order 66. It sounded ominous. But he bit it back. Luke didn't seem to want to talk about it, and he wasn't going to push. Not on the first day. "Yeah," he just agreed instead. "Me too."

"Anyways, though," the man chuckled, trying to sound happier than he was, "I'm excited for today. I think it's going to go well."

"What're we going to do today?" Ben asked, looking up at the sky.

It wasn't currently its usual blue. It was instead pale, with orange and pinks beginning to fill its emptiness. The sun was just beginning to peek out over the hills. It was early. The other Padawans were going to arrive soon, Ben knew.

"Well, probably just the basics," his uncle mused. "Just so I can see where everyone is at. So I know what we'll need to work towards in the future."

Ben nodded, soaking that in. The words made his stomach feel kind of queasy. He didn't want to think about that. All of these kids were going to be four years older than he was, and they would probably be miles ahead of him. He just knew he was going to have to struggle to be anywhere near their level. It was going to take a lot of work on his part. Fear rose within him. Even with his best effort, would he be able to make up for four years of experience? He wasn't sure it was possible. His cheeks flushed as the humiliation of being the child of a group of _children_. They were already young. They weren't even teenagers, technically speaking. But he was going to be a kid in their eyes. Why had his family done this to him? Anxiety filled his mind.

"Ben," Luke spoke softly, as the terrain began to level out. They had almost reached the top of the hill. "I wouldn't have asked that you come if I didn't think you were capable."

The words that rose to Ben's tongue next shocked even him. "I thought it was because you were afraid I was going to go to the dark side," the underlying bitterness in his statement was evident, and left both people stunned.

The boy bit his lip, immediately regretting saying it. It was the first day of his Jedi training! He had told himself that he wasn't going to upset his uncle! But... he couldn't take it back now. He had meant exactly what he had said. He had heard the conversation between his uncle and his parents, and he couldn't deny that it had become a bit of a sore spot for him. He had had a lot of time to think while staying with his uncle—he had been living with the man for about a week before this point and had learned that Luke wasn't exactly the most sociable individual; he spent a lot of time on his own, writing letters and such—and one of the things that Ben kept coming back to was that day his parents had agreed to send him to the Academy. He was sort of irritated by it. His uncle and his mom, the nicest, most golden-hearted people he knew, had actually thought he could become evil? Only his dad had opposed the thought. He sunk into a sulk, crossing his arms, shooting the blond man standing next to him an accusing look.

"Ben..." Luke said slowly, pausing in his stride. He turned to stare at the boy apprehensively. "You have to understand our concern. When you used the Force by getting angry, you really did connect with the dark side. And when we were at your house, just a couple weeks ago, I felt you do so again. In fact, I can feel it right now."

Ben's jaw dropped. He paled. "Right now?"

"Not anymore," the man noted. "Look, I'm not trying to scare you. And I don't think you're a bad person. Far from it. I think you're one of the best people I've ever met. But I also think you're walking down a dangerous path. I just want to help you." He tried to smile. "Plus you're my nephew, Ben. How could you be bad? You're part of one of the best families out there."

That wasn't enough to persuade the boy this time. "What about what my dad said?"

"What do you mean?" Luke questioned nonchalantly, beginning to walk towards the looming building again. He seemed mildly determined to reach it now, seemingly thinking that reaching it would end this conversation. "What did he say?"

"He said the Force ruined _your_ dad," Ben recalled. "Did he go to the dark side?"

Luke tensed immediately. He stopped in his tracks so suddenly that Ben almost kept walking. The boy stopped too, however, peering at them man curiously. The blond didn't move to look at the youth. He straightened, and his face suddenly looked older. Each wrinkle became apparent, from his smile lines to worry lines on his forehead. A deep pain entered his eyes, which went from being their typical blue to looking almost gray. "Yes." he answered, his voice clipped. "My father was lost for a period of time, but he wasn't a bad person either. He was redeemed in the end, Ben."

"How did he go to the dark side?" Ben asked curiously.

Luke returned to walking, picking up his pace quite a bit. "I don't know. I believe it had something to do with my mother." He was extremely close to running, his eyes locked on the temple. "But enough of that," he cleared his throat.

The raven-haired boy had never seen his uncle so jumpy or touchy about anything. He was thoroughly surprised by the man's drastic reaction. Ben mentally noted that apparently his grandfather was a sore subject. He silently debated asking his mother about him as soon as he got home. She tended to be more levelheaded about this kind of thing. Plus, he knew she had grown up in family different from the one Luke had grown up in. She had been adopted, raised by a set of parents that weren't her own. She thought of her father as Bail Organa, Ben knew. He had heard many stories of the man, a supposed great senator with a sense of duty and a burning desire for freedom. He had been one of billions to die when Alderaan had been obliterated by the Death Star. Asking about that would make her emotional. Asking about the biological father she had barely known? It probably wouldn't even earn a sniffle.

"Sorry," Ben said quietly, though he wasn't really. If anything, he was glad he'd said it. It had given him a bit of insight on a subject he'd known nothing about, and it had allowed him to express his frustration at his uncle and parents. With that off his chest, he felt lighter. Some of his nerves cleared. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me," Luke responded smoothly, though they both knew he had. "Look, Ben," his tone was now flooded with relief. "This is where we're going to be training."

It was even bigger up close. Ben marveled at it, thoroughly amazed. It was actually kind of incredible now that he was looking right at it. "You guys made this?"

"Yeah, we did," Luke allowed a touch of pride to enter his voice, though it was gone quickly. He wasn't really the prideful type. "We weren't going to build it here originally," he told the boy distantly. "We wanted to build it on that hill over there," he pointed westward, at a much taller hill. "But the Force directed us here instead. We kept going to the other hill, but we couldn't feel anything. The Force always pulled us to this one." He smiled. "We weren't going to use brick either, but every other material we tried ended up being destroyed somehow. The wood burned before we even had half a wall built, and we had an earthquake that caused the stone to crumble. I still can't explain that one. It seems impossible, but we'll all swear by it. Each time we tried to go a different direction than what the Force told us, it just wouldn't work. Finally, we learned to just listen. This wasn't at all the original plan, you know."

"What was?" Ben questioned, incredibly curious. Was the Force actually powerful enough to ignite wood spontaneously and crumble stone without warning?

"It was a magnificent temple with spires and stained glass windows. It was even bigger than this one. The walls were wooden, but stained white. It towered above everything, grand and gorgeous. A beautiful reminder of the power of the Force." He chuckled at the thought. "Apparently it wanted something more modest."

Ben couldn't help but laugh. "That's actually really funny, Uncle Luke."

"You know, it was frustrating at the time. Xavier and Andrew, two of the Jedi helping me, were just as baffled as I was. But it was Dagger, the craziest of the four of us, that knew what was going on. He convinced us to just follow the Force."

"His name is Dagger?" the boy giggled, his childlike innocence shining through. "Really?"

"Probably not," Luke answered airily. "He's definitely not what you would expect a Jedi to act like. He's a little more brash, kind of wild. Knowing him, he changed it because it sounded cooler that way. See, Xavier and Andrew are both a lot more formal. They remind me of other Jedi I've known. Dagger, however... reminds me of a less mature version of your dad."

"Less mature?" the raven-haired youth raised his eyebrows. "But my mom always tells my dad to grow up and act his age."

Luke grinned. "Yeah. She doesn't really like Dagger very much," he admitted. "They don't get along."

"She knows him?"

"Oh, sure. So does your dad. They know Xavier and Andrew too."

"How come I've never met them?" Ben asked, feeling a little left out. He wanted to know the crazy people who had helped build this incredible structure.

The blond tilted his head. "Well... originally, your parents didn't particularly want you getting too caught up with Jedi. This wasn't their original plan for you. Initially, they wanted you to be a pilot. A good, honest career. Not quite as risky as that of a Jedi. Well... not in the same way. And they figured you'd be good at it. After all, you have Skywalker _and_ Solo blood in you. How could you not be?"

"And now I'm at a school for Jedi," the eight year old smiled kind of sadly. "That didn't really work for them."

"Oh, I don't know. From my experience, Jedi make the best pilots," Luke winked. Then he gestured towards the door. "Do you want to see the inside? You know, since you'll be living here for at least the next few months."

"Yeah!"

His uncle pushed open the door. Ben was mildly surprised to see that the room inside was practically empty. It was absolutely massive, resembling a ballroom of sorts. The floor was hardwood, which made the child smile. Apparently the Force didn't want wooden walls, but floors were fair game. He peered around curiously. Despite the fact that there was nothing inside of it, spare a single wooden chair sitting off to the side, it had a life of its own. Something in the air felt almost... electric. With his every breath, Ben seemed to grow more energized, but in an abnormal way. He wasn't becoming hyper, exactly. Something about the room made him feel calm and at peace, but more, well, the best way to describe it was alive.

"This is where we'll be doing most of our training," Luke murmured thoughtfully. "Force and lightsaber. There are a couple other rooms, bedrooms and bathrooms and other necessities, but other than that... this is the main focal point. It looks like a lot of nothing, I know, but when you get more attuned to the Force you'll be able to—"

"I can feel it now," Han Solo's son interrupted, anticipating the man's next words. "The electricity in the air. The way the room has its own energy. I can feel it."

The Jedi blinked, truly caught off-guard. "You can?"

"Yeah. It's... incredible," he breathed. "This is what I'd imagine magic feels like," he confessed, though he knew that statement would've sounded excessively girly in the ears of his father.

"That... wow, Ben," he seemed flabbergasted. "I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting that at all." He was going to say something when he stopped suddenly. "They're here."

Ben blanched. "The other students?"

"Yes. I sent out a ship to go to all of their respective planets and pick them up. It's a fast one, but even so, I imagine some of those kids have been up even longer than we have."

"So they're going to be really grumpy?" the boy guessed.

"It's possible," Luke confirmed. "Well, I'm going to go get a couple things ready for today. Why don't you go greet your new classmates, Ben?"

"By myself?" he squeaked.

"You'll be okay," his uncle promised, flashing the boy a reassuring grin as he vanished into one of the back rooms.

Ben swallowed hard, then gingerly stepped outside. The ship was unloading. He watched with great interest. Four boys. Only three girls. All human. He had been expecting a Twi'lek or two, but apparently that wasn't the case this year. To his relief, they all looked excited, rather than irritated. None of them were grouchy, despite how early they'd had to wake up.

One girl, with wild red hair and a huge smile, spotted him first. "There's the eighth one, guys!" she said cheerily. "I told you there was supposed to be another one!"

A boy that was slightly taller than the others stepped in front. His hair was as dark as Ben's, and his eyes were almost the same shade. He had an authoritative look to him, and seemed to have already asserted himself as the leader. "Nice to meet you," he said, his manner seeming oddly formal. "I'm Coulter Danos."

"Uh, hi," Ben rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I'm Ben Solo."

The reaction to this was far from normal. Everyone seemed to stare at him more intently. Their mildly interested looks coming to They all gawked at him, wide-eyed. A couple gasps rang out. Ben suddenly felt entirely isolated. They turned to one another, as if he weren't even there. They began to whisper, though Ben heard every word. He fidgeted, rubbing the back of his neck, almost wanting to turn on his heel and run into the temple.

"Solo? As in Han?"

"No way. It has to be a coincidence. Why would Han Solo send his kid here?"

"It makes perfect sense! Luke is Han's brother!"

"No, he's not! Don't be dumb! Luke is an only child! Jedi don't have siblings!"

"Yes, they do! Luke has a sister, remember? Leia, the former princess of Alderaan!"

"Didn't that planet explode?"

Ben cleared his throat. They all turned to gape at him again. Most of them looked amazed, starstruck even, but some appeared more critical. Coulter fell into this group. His mouth was a straight line, and his eyes were displaying as little emotion as possible. However, his arms were crossed, which was often a sign that someone's mind was closed, and normally that they didn't believe what was being said. His eyebrows were also furrowed, just slightly.

"Han Solo is my dad," he announced, not understanding their doubt on the subject.

A girl with stick-straight black hair gasped. Her jade eyes were almond-shaped. "It _is_ true. He's actually your dad?"

"Yeah," he responded, feeling slightly sheepish. He squirmed a little, their disbelieving gazes making him kind of uncomfortable.

"So, is your mom Leia Organa?" a short boy with a shaved head asked incredulously.

"Y-yeah," he confirmed slowly.

"And then Luke Skywalker is your uncle, right?" the black-haired girl prodded, shooting a different boy a pointed look. "Because Leia is his _sister_?"

Ben nodded wordlessly.

"Wow!" the redhead exclaimed. Her voice had a lilt to it. Her accent was distinctly inner rim. "That's incredible! What are they like?"

He blinked. "My parents?"

"Yeah!" the bald boy asked. "Han Solo is like the world's best pilot! Does he ever take you out in the _Millennium Falcon_?"

"Well, yeah, sometimes. He likes to call Uncle Chewie over to help me copilot—"

"Uncle Chewie? You mean Chewbacca? The Wookiee that beat up multiple Stormtroopers inside of the Death Star itself?" a white-haired boy with hazel eyes chirped.

This was all kind of making Ben's head spin, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the attention. "I guess so," he said slowly.

"You've flown co-pilot on the _Falcon_ with Chewbacca?" Coulter asked in disbelief, his chocolate eyes narrowing. "No way."

"No, really," Ben insisted. "I don't do too much of the actually flying, my dad really loves that ship, but I still get to sit co-pilot. Sometimes he even lets me help land it. Uncle Chewie makes sure I do everything right, but it's still really fun."

A dark-skinned boy with curly black hair raised his eyebrows. "And what about your mum?" his accent was even more inner rim than the redhead's. In fact, he sounded like he was raised on Coruscant itself.

"She's..." he'd never had to describe his parents like this before, "she's nice. Super smart. She's a really good mom. She'll do anything for me. She takes care of me when I'm sick and helps me feel better when I'm sad."

"She was one of the greatest diplomats of all time. A princess!" a girl with short, brown hair and pale skin exclaimed. She looked enthralled. "Is your dad a prince?"

Ben's eyebrows shot towards his hairline. "Uh, no—"

"Are you kidding?" the girl with black girls hair scoffed. "Han Solo was a pilot for the rebellion! He flew the _Millennium Falcon_!"

"I know! Didn't you take history class? Han Solo is legendary, not a stuffy prince!" the white-haired kid protested.

"Well, isn't he now? Since he technically married a princess?" the redhead questioned carefully.

"The princess of a planet that doesn't exist anymore," the bald boy pointed out. "Alderaan blew up, remember?"

"That's right," the dark-skinned boy recalled. "The Death Star. Yeah, I would say that takes away Leia's princess status. You can't be princess of an asteroid field."

"So then Han is definitely not a prince, since he married her after Alderaan was dust in the wind," the towhead stated conclusively.

Coulter didn't bother inserting himself in the conversation. He stared at Ben, dark eyes narrowed a little. He didn't seem to care about what the others were saying. All of his attention was on the eight year old. "What about your uncle?"

Everyone stopped and turned back to stare at Ben, who suddenly felt self-conscious. "What about him?"

"What is he like?"

"Well, you're going to meet him today," Ben answered lamely, fidgeting.

"Yeah, but give us a heads-up. I mean, you have to know him pretty well, right? I mean, for him to let you in early," Coulter said calmly.

The redhead frowned. "Coulter!" she scolded.

"It's okay, Mariana," he assured her, not moving his eyes from the boy. "We were all thinking it. He's obviously younger than we are. What are you, ten?"

"Come on, Coulter," the bald kid frowned. "Don't."

Coulter clicked his tongue. "Please, Leo. It's fine. Seriously, Ben. How old are you?"

"I'm eight," the boy confessed quietly, staring at the ground.

"Seriously?" the dark-skinned kid asked, eyes wide. "Eight?"

"Why does that matter?" Mariana asserted. "He's fine. He's here for a reason. He's probably really good with the Force."

Coulter scoffed. "Or uncle dearest let him in. I mean, come on. Maybe if he were a Skywalker, I would believe he was strong in the Force. But he's not a Skywalker. He's a Solo. And when have you ever heard about _Han_ using the Force?"

Ben's cheeks burned. "That's not fair. I'm probably just as good as you are."

"I doubt it," the kid said matter-of-factly. "You're eight."

"Coulter!" Leo scolded again. "Leave him alone. Come on. We're all here to train together."

He chuckled. "Yeah, well, you're nuts if you think we're all going to become Jedi. There's one teacher and eight of us. He's naturally going to zero in on a couple of us. The talented ones. That's obvious."

"What's obvious?"

Everyone jumped. Luke had approached from the side, a calm, inquiring look on his face.

Coulter paled a little. But he turned, putting up a fake smile. "Master Skywalker," he greeted, bowing.

Many of the other kids followed suit. Ben didn't. He was taken aback. What had he just said? Master Skywalker? Were they actually supposed to call Luke that? He couldn't. It just seemed awkward and odd. It would be like calling his dad by his first name. Weird and unnecessary. Did he actually have to equip the title of 'master' to his uncle? He understood that the man truly was a Jedi Master now, and that he'd earned that title. He knew that it was only customary to refer to one's teacher in that way. All Padawans addressed their corresponding Jedi as such. But this was different. Ben was _related_ to his Jedi! He had grown up seeing him pop in to check up on them, hearing lengthy conversations about him, and dreaming about being just like him. Was all of that worth nothing here? To say the boy was "out of sorts" would've been the understatement of the century. So instead, he just offered a small bow and said nothing.

"What was obvious, Coulter?"

The dark-haired pre-teen inhaled sharply. "You know my name?"

"I hand-selected all of you. Of course I do."

"O-oh. Nothing, Master Skywalker," he chewed on his bottom lip. "I don't remember."

Luke raised his eyebrows but nodded. "I think you'd all like to see the inside of the temple now," he addressed them.

They all nodded vigorously, murmuring to one another. Ben just looked at his uncle. _What have you gotten me into?_ he thought, mildly frustrated.

Luke turned and looked right at him, blue eyes displaying shock for what had to be the third time that day. "What?" he practically whispered. None of the other kids took notice.

Ben's jaw dropped in awe. Had his uncle heard what he was thinking? He couldn't remember how to talk to answer. He wasn't sure he wanted to. What had just happened?

Luke turned away hesitantly. Opening the door, he grinned, though it seemed slightly strained. "Here you go."

The kids rushed in, but stopped when they saw the room. They looked around, clearly baffled by this turn of events. The energy flowed into Ben, but could tell by the expressions that his classmates were wearing that they didn't feel it.

"It's empty," the white-haired boy voiced everyone's concern.

"I know, Calum. It appears empty. But when you get more adept with the Force, you'll feel that it is full of energy. To a more trained Jedi, the air feels electric. The Force fills this room. Peace and serenity will come easy to you in here, even if you can't feel it."

Ben swelled a little. He could feel it and they couldn't. He was more... wait. He stopped. Coulter had a strange look on his face. His concentration seemed over-exaggerated. His forehead was creased and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut. That was kind of odd. Could Coulter actually feel the energy? That didn't seem right. It had a calming effect, not a laboring one. But his breaths were deep, just like Ben's had been... and when he opened his eyes, he was smirking arrogantly. "So what if we do feel it, Master Skywalker?" Coulter asked loudly, shooting Ben a gloating look.

"It means you're more in tune with this place. The Force is acknowledging your potential," the man answered calmly, not turning to look at the boy.

"I'm the only one that the Force is noticing?" the cocky kid said, a huge grin crossing his smug face.

Luke turned towards Ben. "Not the only one."

The raven-haired boy couldn't help but smirk at Coulter, though he knew it wasn't the Jedi way. It was oddly satisfying to see the guy deflate. It felt good to punch a hole in his giant ego.

"Your first test is going to seem odd. We'll only be doing a couple exercises today. We're going to use the Force, and we're going to use a lightsaber. Now, obviously, I'll provide training sabers. Real ones are dangerous, and I don't want any of you getting hurt." He cleared his throat. "But first... we're going to try to see how well you can use the Force. Give me a second." He left the room, stepping into one of the adjacent ones.

Immediately, Coulter spun on Ben. "You did _not_ feel the Force."

"I feel it right now," Ben retorted, taking a defensive stance. "I just had enough class not to brag about it."

"Listen, Solo," Coulter growled, stepping forwards threateningly.

Mariana and the black haired girl both immediately got in between the two of them. After a second, Leo did the same. The brown-haired girl hesitated, but fell into place next to the others. Only Calum and the curly-haired kid stayed behind Coulter.

"So Calum and James are the only ones who know what's going on. Don't you guys get it? Solo here is just going to whine to his uncle so he gets better treatment! Do you think he, four years younger than us, could actually feel the Force in there, when most of you guys couldn't?"

"Back off, Coulter," Mariana spoke calmly. "Envy isn't becoming of a Jedi."

"Envy? You think I'm jealous of this kid? What are you, thick?"

"Please! He's related to Han Solo, _and_ Leia Organa, _and_ Luke Skywalker. His life is cooler than yours will ever be," the raven-haired girl snapped. "And there's nothing you can do to change that, Coulter. He lucked out in the family department. His parents are rebel heroes, and yours sell space rations to desperate travelers for twice the market price."

"Shut up, Indigo! At least my parents didn't name me after a color because they saw it in the 'essence of my soul!'"

Indigo glared at him. "I'll take hippies over conmen any day. Besides, if you'd been named after the essence of your soul, you'd be named Puke Green, so thank your lucky stars you weren't!"

"They were neighbors. They grew up together," Mariana whispered to Ben, expression grave. "I have a feeling this argument has been going on for a long time."

"Where are you from?" he whispered to her, watching them.

"Locke. It's a planet not far from here. I'm guessing you're Outer Rim?"

"Mid-rim, actually. Dad wanted to raise me on Corellia, but mom said something about it being a hive for scum, so..." he shrugged. "I get my accent from my dad, I guess. I don't think of it as an accent, I'm so used to it."

She laughed. "I know! I always get comments on mine, but this is just how everyone talks where I'm from. People always assume I'm from here, you know, but I've never even been to Coruscant before."

"Me neither," he admitted.

"Really? Blimey. I thought that you'd have been here a lot, with Skywalker being your uncle and all."

He shook his head. "No. Uncle Luke doesn't—"

Ben stopped mid-sentence as the man entered, carrying... a stack of dishes? He looked at Mariana, his eyebrows raised. His confusion was reflected on her face, her turquoise eyes wide. He glanced around. All the others were silent, staring at Luke. Even Coulter and Indigo had ceased their incessant bickering to gape at the Jedi. They exchanged terrified expressions.

He sat them down calmly. "Everyone come and take one," he encouraged.

The Padawans walked forward nervously. Each one slowly picked up a plate and backed up. Ben had a feeling he knew where this was going. He set his plate down and sat cross-legged on the floor. Some of the other kids saw him and did the same. After a minute, only Coulter, James, and Calum still stood. They stared at Luke stubbornly, waiting for him to actually tell them what to do. They were clearly refusing to trust Ben.

"Go ahead and sit down. Put your plate in front of you," Luke prompted tiredly, clearly understanding the division in the group that had already formed.

Now they did, with Coulter shooting Luke a particularly big, simpering smile. Ben couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Now focus all of your energy on the plate. Delve into yourself and draw from your inner peace. Use the Force. It surrounds you. Work with it. Try to move your dish into the air. Don't worry if you can't do it right now. At this point we're just trying to achieve some sort of movement."

Ben took a deep breath. It had been two years since he had used the Force, but he remembered it well. He closed his eyes. He could feel the Force around him. He mentally took a hold of it. He wasn't going to be working _with_ it. It was going to be working _for_ him. He began to think about things that upset him. Coulter's jeering face entered his mind. The comments about his abilities and potential floated through his head. The conversation he'd heard between his parents and his uncle came to him once again. His frustration at his uncle's habit of constantly dodging questions. His embarrassment at being the youngest one there.

The negative emotions swirled within him, a fiery tornado of hatred. His blue eyes blazed. With a silent command, he unleashed it upon the plate. Now that he was older, he could see the difference between his anger and the Force itself. The anger was his blunt weapon. It attacked the Force, making it bend to its will. The plate skyrocketed into the air, at a speed that didn't seem possible. It almost slammed into the ceiling, but stopped right before it did so. It hovered there, perfectly steady. After a second, Ben attempted to make it spin. It did. Like a top. Faster and faster, the plate spun, several feet above all of their heads—

"Ben!" Luke ran towards him, panic etched into his features. "What are you doing?"

Startled, Ben lost focus. The plate plummeted, smashing on the wooden floor. It shattered into what seemed like millions of people. Tears sprung to his eyes. _No!_ He had had it! It was perfect until Luke had gone and scared him! He looked up, not sure whether to be confused or angry. His face was hot. He could feel the eyes of the other Padawans. He had to bite his tongue to keep from yelling at them to mind their own business.

"Why did you do that?" he asked quietly, not trusting himself to speak any louder than a whisper.

"Ben, what you were doing was not... I don't even know how you did that in here! This temple was supposed to prevent the dark side from entering it!"

Gasps rang out throughout the room, one of them belonging to Ben. The dark side. He had used the dark side. Again. He really was a bad person. The tears in his eyes ran down his cheeks now. He couldn't keep them back.

"Ben was using the dark side?" Mariana asked fearfully. "Isn't... isn't that evil?"

He had thought they were friends. Now even the people had been nice to him would jump ship and run to Coulter. He knew he was going to be out outcast at this awful place! Why had he ever come here? He couldn't even look up, he was so ashamed of himself. His dad was right. He never should've tried this Force thing. What if it ruined him? He was already contacting the dark side where it shouldn't have been possible. What was wrong with him?

"Ben is not evil," Luke said firmly, his tone stern. "He didn't know. It's the first day, mistakes are going to be made. All Jedi touch the dark side at some point. Of course it is to be avoided, but it's normal. You have to understand, this is... is..." he floundered momentarily before regaining his ability to think, "is a learning opportunity."

Ben knew he was only saying that so the other kids would be nice about it. He appreciated the effort, but it only served to make him feel worse. This wasn't normal, no matter what Luke said. The dark side wasn't just another _oopsy_. It was a big deal. It was the whole reason he was here. And it sounded like it would be the whole reason he left.

"I don't understand."

Of course it was Coulter who spoke. Ben's rage flared up. He didn't want to hear the jerk's two cents. He was probably just going to shoot a mocking comment Ben's way anyways.

"Master Skywalker, Ben was doing so well. His plate was soaring. Why is that bad?"

Ben's jaw dropped. It wasn't an insult? He turned to gape at Coulter. The boy's face was earnest. Why the heck would he stand up for Ben? He had made it clear he didn't like him. That had been more than obvious. Was this a truce? Or was he actually just confused?

"Ben was using the Force very well, but he was using the wrong side of the Force," Luke explained. "I told you all to draw from your inner peace and serenity. But Ben allowed himself to pull from anger and frustration. It seems harmless, and it does appear to be more effective. Fact is, it's easier to use. It's easier to harness negative emotions. This can be tempting, but it's dangerous."

"Why?" the little, pale brunette asked, sounding troubled.

"Honestly, it's hard to explain, Olive, when it sounds so harmless. When you use the dark side of the Force, at first, it makes you feel powerful. You feel like you are the master of everything, and that nothing can stop you. With darkness as your guide, you use the Force as a slave. But it's not long before you become the slave to darkness. You do horrible, awful things that you would never have done. You become a whole different person, living entirely on rage and hatred. In time, those emotions become all you have left."

The children fell quiet. They all say in silence for a good couple of minutes. Finally, Coulter spoke again, his voice soft. "Can we be done with Force training for today, Master Skywalker?"

Luke didn't really hesitate, he just nodded. "I think that would be best," he agreed. "Head outside. I think we'll skip lightsaber training today. Maybe we'll just spend the rest of the day studying meditation. Yeah. It's a lot easier to get in touch with your inner peace that way."

Everybody headed outside, but Coulter hung back. Ben tried to speed up, as to get past him before he could say anything, but it didn't work. His peer grabbed his arm. "Hey, Ben," he begun. "Look."

"Coulter, I really don't—"

"I'm sorry."

He blinked. "What?"

"I shouldn't have said the things I said about you and your family. Even if you did use the dark side, you were a lot better at using the Force than I was. I couldn't move the plate at all. Mariana and Indigo were right. I was jealous." He stuck out his hand. "Can we just start over?"

Ben didn't know what to make of that. "Um..." he hesitated. As much as Coulter had upset him earlier, Jedi didn't hold grudges. Jedi were forgiving. The dark side sought revenge. The Jedi sought redemption. So he forced a smile and shook the boy's hand. "Yeah. Sure."

Coulter beamed. His face looking a hundred percent less guilt-ridden, he practically skipped out of the door. As Ben followed him out the door, a crazy thought occurred to him, but he quickly dismissed it. After all, it was just superstitious. But despite his dismissal of it, the thought remained in his skull:

Had Coulter's change of heart come because he had felt that he had been one of the reasons Ben had touched the dark side?

And if so, then had Luke felt it too?

He swallowed, racked by the anxiety of someone that knew that their thoughts could be listened in on at any time.

This was going to be a long couple of months.

 **A/N: I know this one was really, really long, but I felt that it needed to be. In order to get across everything that I was trying to get across, it just had to be long. But I'm really interested in what you guys think about it, and about this story in general. Particularly the characterization of Ben. If you could leave me a review, I promise you it would make my day! And for those of you wondering when Ben is going to become Kylo Ren, I can promise you that it's coming. That's the whole point of this story after all, so I believe that we'll see more and more Kylo and less and less Ben in upcoming chapters.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

Three months in the Academy had taught Ben a lot more than he had initially expected to learn. It was true that he hadn't been having the best time. The other students were nice, Coulter included, but they all seemed wary of him. That had been his first lesson: Jedi don't necessarily need friends. After all, Luke was on his own, trying to raise a new generation of Jedi by himself. Ben would've been lying if he'd said he hadn't wanted someone to pay him a little attention, in a positive sort of way. The only time the other kids every really talked to him was when they wanted to know something about his family. This was especially true for James and Olive. They always wanted to know something. Someone always did. It was true that Mariana and Indigo were always extra nice to him, but he could feel the thin barrier. They were afraid of him. Even if they didn't know it.

The second thing Ben had learned was that using the Force was a lot harder when you used your "inner peace." The Force wasn't as eager to respond when he didn't have darkness helping him out. It ignored him, fairly blatantly. He made progress slowly, but he had dropped to the same level as everyone else. It was driving him slightly insane. It had been so tempting just to let his frustration take over, but he had abstained. As annoyed as he had become with trying to find serenity, he didn't want to touch the dark side again. It wasn't that he feared it. Despite what the others thought, it didn't hurt him. Really, he was more afraid of how it made him feel. He felt powerful. He felt unstoppable. Entirely invincible, almost like he was...

Immortal.

The idea was addictive. Heck, the dark side itself was addictive. The darkness had a pull to it. A beautiful, mesmerizing sort of pull. It was hard to see the down-side of something that seemed so good. It made him stronger.

But lesson three had been to keep any of these thoughts to himself. They would've terrified the other Padawans, and Luke certainly didn't want to hear them. He had tried to explain once, in a rare moment where he got to converse with his uncle without an eavesdropping classmate. Luke had quickly quieted him, warning him that such thoughts were dangerous. He had seemed greatly on edge. The way he talked sounded like it was from experience. Ben wondered if the man had ever come close to being enticed by the dark side. He had a feeling he would never find out. That was surely the type of thing that Luke would keep incredibly private. Who knew if even his parents knew?

But the most important thing that Ben had learned at the Academy was simple: he was really, _really_ bad with a lightsaber. It was unbelievable. Even with his developing Force skills and his enhanced senses, the boy was just awful. It had felt awkward holding his toy saber when he had first received it, and this was worse. Trying to fight someone with it was hopeless. He would've had a better shot if he had just tackled his opponent. He was honestly lucky they were using training sabers. Otherwise Ben would've surely already "become one" with the Force. More than once.

So after all of that, the break for the anniversary of the empire's fall came as a huge relief. He sat in the back of the small ship piloted by his uncle, drifting in and out of sleep. They were supposed to touch ground at home soon. Ben was excited to see his parents again, as exhausted as he was. He needed a nap. But nonetheless, he would put it aside. He had missed his two favorite adults. Some nights had been hard. Homesickness was, well, about as fun as shoveling Bantha dung would be.

Normally, Ben would've tried to make conversation with his uncle, but he was having a hard time. The easy relationship between the two had dissipated. Luke had become more stern throughout the course of things. He had really began to fill the role of teacher, which was all well and good. It just made him hard to relate to or talk to. Ben could only see his mentor. He'd be being dishonest if he said he had never thought of the man as Master Skywalker.

They were two different people, really. His Uncle Luke was fun and relatable, with a love for flying and a goofy smile. Master Skywalker was tough and dedicated to the Force, with a need for order and a constant perplexed frown.

The problem was that it was often hard to tell the difference. Like now, for instance. Ben watched Luke carefully. He seemed mildly serious, and Ben was sure he was using the Force to assist him. But at the same time, his expression was lighter than it had been in months.

"Are we close?" Ben dared, deciding the best way to gauge which one the man was now was simply talking to him.

Luke started, mildly surprised. But he looked back at Ben and smiled. "Sure are," he confirmed. "We'll be landing really soon. In fact, I'm going to pull out of light speed now."

So it was his uncle he was talking to. It seemed confusing, thinking of him as two different people, but it was the only way Ben could comprehend it. It was just easier to try to be more relaxed if he thought of Master Skywalker being back at the temple, and Luke being here.

Trying to smile and put the Academy out of his mind, he watched his uncle flip switches and pull levers so quickly that Ben had to take a moment to marvel at it. There was a lurch as they pulled out of light speed. This sensation always made his ears pop, strange as it was. He wrinkled his nose, but all the same, addressed the man, "You're a really good pilot..." he hesitated, it felt foreign coming out of his mouth now, "Uncle Luke."

Luke either didn't notice his apprehension or just chose to ignore it. "Have you ever flown with me before, Ben?"

The boy shook his head, shaggy raven hair getting in his eyes. "No. My dad insisted on flying me to stay with you in the beginning, and then when we went to Coruscant, there was a pilot that flew us there."

"Was there?" the blond sounded confused by his own actions. "Now why would I have arranged that? I was capable of flying us."

"You were meditating the whole flight there," the boy practically giggled. "I think you were more nervous than I was."

The man laughed sheepishly. "I guess that's true. I just hadn't realized you'd never seen me fly. I've always loved it, you know. It's fun."

Ben couldn't help but grin mischievously. "Are you a better pilot than my dad, Uncle Luke?"

"Oh, definitely. I keep wanting to race him to prove it, but your mom hardly approves. She thinks it's dangerous and he's going to end up killing himself. Plus, he has an advantage with the _Falcon_. It looks like a piece of junk, but it's a pretty fast piece of junk."

"How long have you been a pilot?" the boy questioned.

He shrugged. "Well, not as long as your dad. I knew I could fly. I could feel it. But I didn't really have the chance until I was pretty much already an adult. It came to me naturally. I get it from my father. He was a natural-born pilot too."

Ben stopped. The temptation to ask more about this mysterious father was strong. He decided to proceed very carefully. "He was?" he asked simply, trying to sound intrigued.

"Oh yeah. He was actually a pod-racer."

The Padawan gasped. "No way! He was in a pod-race? But those are so dangerous!"

"I know. He was the first human to ever win the Boonta's Eve Classic... when he was nine," the note of pride in Luke's voice was somewhat wistful. "I've heard all sorts of stories from people who knew him... before..." he trailed off.

The boy teetered back and forth. Should he? Shouldn't he? He really wanted to know. He wasn't going to be pushy. That would irritate and alarm his uncle. Instead, he just murmured, "Before he gave in to it?"

"Yes," the Jedi answered, surprisingly straight-forward. "He was a good man for a very long time beforehand, and he was one in the end."

That was all Luke ever seemed to say on the subject. But Ben didn't want to know about before and after. He just wanted to bluntly blurt, 'What was he like when he was evil?' Again though, he took a different route.

"What was his name?"

"Anakin Skywalker was my father," the man said, his speech confusing his nephew. What an odd way to word it out of the blue.

Ben wasn't exactly dumb, though, and he understood after a second of thinking about it. "Anakin was your father," he agreed, "because that's what he called himself when he was a Jedi, right?"

"That was his name."

"Well, right, but was it his name when he was a bad guy?"

He sighed. "No."

"What was it?"

There was a moment of tense silence. It was deafening. Ben fidgeted, waiting for some sort of answer with bated breath.

Finally, Luke said, his voice shaking a little, "Darth Vader."

No way.

Ben had read about Vader in history class. The man had been a ruthless employee of the emperor's. He was clearly a Force user—his infamous ability to strangle a man without his hands made that incredibly clear—but that was never directly mentioned in the book. Lots of things were unknown about him. His real name, for instance, or why he wore that suit all the time. Its mask had become a symbol that struck terror in many parts of the galaxy. Vader had helped build the Death Star. He had been there when an entire planet had been destroyed. No one thought of him as human. He was a cold, unfeeling robot. No, he was worse. He was a murderer.

"I'm related to Darth Vader?" Ben whispered.

"It's not something to talk about at the Academy," Luke's voice became sharp, but his tone mellowed after a second. "But yes. He was your maternal grandfather, though I think your mom would prefer if you thought of Bail Organa in that light." He paused. "I don't mind if you talk to your parents about this, Ben. I'm not sure they'll be thrilled that you know, but I wouldn't want you hiding anything from them. I would, however, like if you'd wait a couple days. You just got home. This not what they want to kick-off your homecoming with."

Ben nodded. "I understand."

"Thank you," Luke sounded relieved. "We're going to be landing in a second," he added, almost as a second thought.

"Right," Ben answered.

His heart jumped into his throat. It was going to be good just to be with his parents at home. He was so tired of being so far away. He was excited to see his mom and dad. It seemed like forever since he'd talked to either of them. Occasionally, at the Academy, he'd been able to contact them and have a short conversation, but that was the extent of it. There was no Holonet at the Academy, and it was hard to have a conversation over commlink when seven other Padawans were attempting to eavesdrop the whole time.

They had a smooth landing, much to Ben's surprise. The _Falcon_ didn't have many of those. Maybe it was ship itself, maybe his dad was just bad at landings. He didn't dwell on it, he just watched Luke carefully. The man's face was entirely calm. Ben couldn't tell if he was using the Force or not. He had to be. He was almost too good at this to not be. If all of this was natural, then maybe he really did rival Han after all...

"Okay, Ben, well..." Luke took a deep breath of fresh air as they both climbed out of the two-person ship, "welcome home."

The boy practically sprinted towards the front door, a huge grin on his face. Before he grabbed the door knob, however, the door was flung open. His parents stood there, huge smiles on both of their faces. He jumped towards them, and they embraced him joyfully.

"Mom! Dad!" he said, as soon as he had pulled away. "I missed you guys so much!"

"We missed you too, Ben," his mom sounded entirely sincere, and the happiness in her warm brown eyes confirmed it.

Han ruffled his son's hair. "Look at you, champ! You're really starting to look more like your old man, you lucky ba—"

"Han!" she cut in, sounding absolutely appalled.

"Gosh, Leia, I was going to say Bantha. What were you thinking?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her challengingly. His trademark grin was on his face. Ben had missed seeing that every day.

She huffed. "Don't teach your son to lie."

"I'm not! I would never do that! I know the values of honesty, right, kid? I would never encourage you to lie!"

It sounded so scripted that even Ben came close to rolling his eyes. He instead tilted his head. "What about the time we broke the—"

"It really is good having you back, kid," Han grabbed his son and uncharacteristically pulled him into a hug in an attempt to muffle his words. "We weren't going to talk about that, remember?"

Luke chuckled suddenly, seemingly very amused by something. Everyone turned to stare at him, having pretty much forgotten he was there. He cleared his throat. "Sorry," he smiled. "I just didn't realize that Han had actually used the blame the Wookiee method."

Leia gasped. "My broken window? That was you?"

The pilot of the Millennium Falcon glowered at his brother-in-law. "Thanks a lot, Luke," he growled. "Stay out of my head. It's not meant for you to go picking through it. I know that you Jedi don't understand boundaries, but you're going to have to understand that most people don't read people's minds! It's considered _rude_."

The blond looked apologetic. "Sorry."

"So how was the Academy, you two?" Leia asked conversationally.

Han soured at the mention of it, but just crossed his arms. "Yeah," he deadpanned. "How was the _Academy_?"

"It was..." Ben searched for the words to describe it accurately. He couldn't find them. His uncle was standing right behind him, and he didn't want to hurt the man's feelings. "It was good," he responded lamely.

"Everyone's made incredible progress," Luke answered calmly, blond head tilted to the side. His blue eyes were calculating. "Especially Ben," he added carefully.

Ben blinked. He had? He didn't feel like he'd made progress. If anything, he felt like Luke had turned him around and made him walk backwards, further and further from his goals. What has he made progress at? His lightsaber skills were dismal, and his Force skills were _average_. He frowned. Maybe his uncle was just saying that because he didn't want his dad to know that Ben was a failure as a Jedi.

"He has?" Leia stepped in, her voice so cheery it almost sounded forced. "Oh, that's wonderful! I was worried that he'd fall behind since all the other kids are so much older."

The Jedi chuckled. "No, not at all. Ben is right with them, in fact... sometimes he's better. I know he doesn't think he's any good with the Force," he snuck a glance at his wide-eyed nephew as he said this, "but he's really got astounding potential."

"And what about the problem he was having?" Ben's mother questioned, her tone entirely even, her expression entirely mild. "Has that been resolved?"

Problem? Ben creased his brow. What problem? What problem would they have been—

 _The dark side._

It wasn't even his own though initially. It was almost as if someone had whispered it to him. He knew it immediately to be true. But he blinked, baffled. What had said that? It had sounded odd. Tinged with fear and anger, full of disbelief and irritation. And the voice had almost sounded like his father's. Something occurred to him and he inhaled sharply. Had he...?

Everyone turned to look at him, startled by his sudden gasp. The child cleared his throat, embarrassed. "Sorry," he apologized quickly. "I, um, I'm just so, uh, so happy to be home."

It was a lame excuse but one they accepted. They all just smiled at him adoringly—and admittedly somewhat patronizingly—and went back to talking. Only Luke's eyes lingered on him a second longer. A curious, yet wary look he'd been receiving frequently as of late. His uncle was always staring at him as if he was either going to cure all diseases or destroy the universe at any second.

But Luke shook it off and directed his piercing gaze at his sister. "It's getting there," he said, almost cryptically. "We've worked on it a lot, and I don't believe it's contacting him anymore."

"You don't believe so?" Han sounded sarcastic. "Well, isn't that a dilemma. I wonder how you could figure it out. How would we go about seeing what somebody else is thinking without spying on their thoughts like creepy freaks?"

The blond sighed. "I really don't think that—"

"Look, Luke, if it's too hard of a question, I can drop you a hint. It has something to do with actually ASKING HIM."

"I don't—" he began uneasily.

"Ben," the pilot began, pointedly staring at his son. "Has the dark side been contacting you?"

Ben actually found his father's bluntness refreshing. It was nice. His teacher—no, uncle! His _uncle_ was always so cryptic. And his mom had the same tendency to be too gentle and nice just to point out the problem. At least his dad made it simple.

He hesitated for just a fraction of a second. "No," he lied, doing his best to mask his thoughts. Mental shields were the best thing he had learned in Force training. He stuffed the recent memories of feeling the dark side away. Of course it'd been contacting him! It tried all the time, but he ignored it. Almost always, he just waited it out. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, he brought a few different thoughts front and center. A lightsaber fight he'd been losing, but had used the 'peace and serenity' side of the Force to actually win. Granted, it had been Calum, who was almost worse with a saber than he was, but he had taken it. Another memory he threw at Luke was when he had actually managed to lift a dinner plate higher than anyone else for _real_. It had wobbled, and only gone a couple feet up before it fell, but he had done it earnestly instead of with the dark side.

"That's good, Ben," the Force-trained man said, sounding mildly suspicious. But he put on a smile. "So Leia, have you heard any news about the Senate?"

"I haven't," she confessed. "Not lately. I did, however..." she stopped, as if considering silence. She cast it away after a minute, deciding to keep talking. "I did get an invitation to come back."

Both men gasped, sounding like schoolgirls who just got an earful of shocking gossip. Ben giggled to himself.

"Oh Leia, that's incredible!" Luke exclaimed, embracing his sister.

Han just gaped at her, slack-jawed. "You did?" he finally managed, sounding extremely flabbergasted. "Why didn't you tell me? When did you get that?"

She adjusted the bun that sat perched on top of her head. "A few months ago, a few days before Ben went to the Academy. I wasn't going to accept until he left. I quit the Senate because I needed to take care of Ben. But I guess my name was on a recent ballot. I believe one of the other senators put it on there, and I got elected to serve another term. They've given me several Galactic Standard months to decide. I told them I couldn't until I knew if Ben was going to stay at the Academy more permanently or not."

"Why didn't you tell me?" her husband repeatedly angrily. "You're just going to run off? Abandon us? With absolutely no warning or reason?"

She crossed her arms defiantly. "No. I don't up and go whenever I feel like it. If I make a commitment, I stick with it. I would never bail out on people that need me."

Her words were pointed, and they seemed to really strike a nerve with Han for some reason. Ben watched them, confused.

The woman glared at her husband, but after a second her clear irritation was replaced with just wariness and exhaustion. "I knew you would be upset. You don't want me to go back, Han. And really, I don't need to. We have plenty of money. It'd be better if I stay here with you. Of course it would. But I... I don't know. I feel like I'm doing something to restore democracy, and to continue my father's legacy."

Ben's heart felt like it stopped. "Darth Vader?" he whispered, unaware he'd even said it at first.

But all three people turned to gape him. He turned crimson when he realized his error. _Bail_. She'd meant Bail Organa. Her adopted father.

"How do you know that, kid?" Han's voice was actually a little shaky. He shot an accusing look at his brother-in-law. "Where did you hear that Darth Vader was your mom's dad?"

Ben didn't want to sell Luke out. He floundered. "Well, I... I know that mom was adopted, you guys told me that. And I know that Luke was raised by his actual aunt and uncle, and technically mom's aunt and uncle. Neither of them had any siblings but, um, their Uncle Owen had a step-brother and... um..." he had no idea where he was going with this. "That was Darth Vader," he finished lamely.

"That makes no sense," Han informed him.

Luke cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Han, Leia. I told him on the flight here. He was asking about my father and—"

"We didn't want Ben to know," the pilot of the _Millennium Falcon_ interrupted. "We didn't want him to know that he was related to the man responsible for the empire's rise."

Luke sounded oddly defensive. "My father made many mistakes, Han. I know that."

"Mistakes? _Mistakes?_ Your daddy-dearest was a homicidal lunatic made out of more metal than most blasters! He blew up a _planet_!"

"That wasn't my father. Anakin Skywalker was—"

He scoffed. "Look, we had no problem with the kid knowing about Anakin. More Jedi in the family. Big whoop. It was the _Vader_ we had a problem with!"

"I wasn't trying to—"

"Ben," Leia's gentle voice quieted the room immediately, "you understand that you are nothing like Darth Vader, don't you? And that being related to him doesn't make you a bad person?"

He nodded quickly, though he wasn't sure he understood as well as he wished he did. "Yes, mom."

"Then I see no harm in it," she said dismissively. "But next time you tell him something life-changing, Luke, we'd like it if you consult us first. _We_ _are_ his parents." There was a warning note in her voice.

The Jedi nodded, even faster than Ben had. "Of course, Leia." He stopped, as something seemed to occur to him. "I forgot about that," he murmured, mostly to himself. "You'll have to excuse me, I just realized I have to go attend a meeting with the Senate. Which means I have to be on Coruscant in a couple hours. Unlike you, Leia, I'm not invited as a senator." He winked at her jokingly. "No, I'm just there to talk about the Academy. Defend it once more. They fear that history will repeat itself and it will fall. They think a new empire could rise. Of course, it's ridiculous, but a necessary discussion apparently."

"Did that happen before?" Ben dared.

Luke looked to his sister, his wide blue eyes asking permission. She waved her hand warily, telling him to go ahead.

He turned back to his nephew. "Yes. There was a Jedi temple in Coruscant where they trained younglings. It was where the emperor put his palace. Now we use it as a Capitol building."

"What happened?"

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "You've probably heard some of this in history class. A Jedi defected and killed all of the younglings."

The boy gasped, shock painting his features. "No! That's awful! Who would do something that horrible and evil? What Jedi would be that cruel and heartless?"

"Anakin Skywalker," Luke responded stiffly.

The youth inhaled sharply. "That was Darth Vader? The history books say it was a nameless, hooded figure."

"That's probably how he looked at the time. He didn't need his suit then," he explained.

"This is why we didn't want you to know about him," Han snapped. "He was evil."

This comment clearly struck a nerve with Luke. His face reddened a shade, and he began to clench his fists. But his training, obviously, allowed him to stop it. He took a deep breath. His hands unfurled and the color left his cheeks. Calmly, he forced a smile. "I really have to go. I'll see you all later. Enjoy your vacation!"

"Luke, if you'd like you can stay for dinner—" Leia started.

He shook his head, walking towards the ship. "Thank you, but that's okay. I really have to go. Some other time, Leia, I promise," he favored her with another, slightly less forced, smile. The gratitude in his blue eyes seemed genuine.

She frowned, hands on her hips. "Are you sure that you—"

"Really, Leia. I'm good. I'll see you soon." He directed his attention towards his brother-in-law next. "Good talking to you, Han. Ah..." he rubbed the back of his neck, "do I need to come back after break?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" the man barked, anoyed by the Jedi's attempted subtly.

He sighed, unhappy with being forced to be blunt. "Is Ben staying enrolled in the Academy?"

Han made a face. "I don't like the idea of it," he grumbled. "But I'm guessing his mother does. So I guess we'll compromise... and Ben will go."

"How is that a compromise?"

"Don't ask me," he shrugged.

A mild amount of anger displayed itself in the pilot's face. He fought it back. He suppressed his frustration, most likely for the sake of his wife and son. It was admirable; Ben smiled. His dad was showing the patience of a Jedi! That wasn't like him. At all. He was trying for them.

"Well, I'll take that as a yes then," the blond said after a second's awkward silence. "I'll see you in a week, Ben," he told his pupil.

The boy tried not to grimace. "Bye Uncle Luke."

The three Solos stood there, watching as Luke climbed into the cockpit of his ship and took off. They were entirely quiet until he became no more than a speck in the afternoon sky. Once he was gone, Leia turned to her son. "So honey, are you ready for our trip to Endor?"

Ben froze. He'd forgotten. Every year, his parents took him to visit the Ewoks on Endor, because it was where they had been when the empire fell. He had been enthralled by the trip when he was younger, but now? He was exhausted from his stay at the Academy. He had just gotten home, he wanted to enjoy it. At the moment, galavanting off to an entirely different planet didn't sound appealing. He really wanted just to be home. But he had never been artful or tactful when it came to words, so instead of voicing his fairly eloquent thoughts, he just said, "Mom... I don't want to go to Endor."

"What?" the woman asked, her warm eyes widening in shock. "Why? We always go to Endor. It's where your father and I were when the empire fell!"

"I know that," he responded lamely, sticking his hands in the pockets of the jacket that he adored so much. It felt good to wear it again. He hadn't been allowed to put it on over his Padawan robes. "But I... well... I just..." his face reddened.

In his head, his words were sweet ones explaining how he just wanted to stay home and be with his parents. His mouth just wouldn't cooperate. No matter what he told it, it wouldn't obey.

"Don't you think I'm a little old to play with teddy bears?"

No! Of all the things to say, it picked that one? That certainly hadn't been what he was going to say. He immediately regretted it. The way his mother's face fell made his heart ache. He wanted to apologize, but, for some reason, he couldn't. He stared at her, slack-jawed.

Both of his parents gaped at him. There was a tense moment of silence. Finally, Leia spoke. Her brown eyes were teary, but she nodded. "I didn't realize, Ben," was her simple response. "You're eight now. Of... of course you're too old. I guess we can just stay home this time." She attempted a smile, but it looked more like a sad grimace. "Han, I'm going to go get ready. We have to go pay a visit to a house a couple blocks from here. We need to make sure that nice girl doesn't come over here to watch the house this week." She exited the room quickly, sounding a little choked up.

His dad blinked, entirely startled. "Ben!" he exclaimed, turning on his son. "You can't talk to your mother like that! We're going to Endor, I don't care how old you are! Those furry little pests annoy me too, but I shut up and I go!"

"But dad, I didn't really mean the teddy bear thing... I just... wanted to spend the holiday here. I'm tired and I just need to rest a little."

"Yeah? Well, you should've said that instead of 'too old to play with teddy bears,' brainiac! Now I've got to go convince your mom to go to Endor, even though I don't want to go myself!"

The raven-haired boy frowned. "But if you don't want to go to Endor then why are you—"

"Look, kid. You messed up and upset your mom, and now it's my job to go un-upset her. Even if that means I have to go 'play with teddy bears.'"

"But I don't understand why she's so upset about this! I am a little old to play with the Ewoks. I'm tired of singing 'Yub Nub' and I'm tired of doing tribal dances!"

Even if he hadn't felt that way initially, he was starting to get defensive. His dad was putting all of this on him. So what if he was too old? Why did his mom care? It was less flying anyways. Less work for everyone.

Han was beginning to look frustrated.

"Look. I'm going to get your mom and so we can go talk to that Nebulae girl, but on the way over I'm going to try to talk her out of this."

"I'll come with y—"

"No," he cut his son off. "You'll stay here. Or go for a walk of your own, I don't care. But for now, just try to steer clear of us. It's nothing personal, kid," he added, seeing the way the eight-year-old's face reflected his hurt. "It's just so you can't remind your mother about why she's upset."

"Sounds personal," he muttered.

The pilot huffed, not justifying that with a response, and practically stomped from the room, clearly eager to find his wife—or just get away from Ben.

Sulking, Ben kicked at the floor. This wasn't fair. Emotions he hadn't allowed himself to feel in months welled within him and he knew he had to get away from them. The darkness filled his mind, clouding his thoughts. He couldn't be around his parents when he was like this. They'd probably take one look at him and know his anger was a sign he was contacting the dark side. Then they'd send him back to his uncle and that accursed school even earlier than expected.

"I'm going to the park!" he yelled, half-hoping they didn't even hear him. He didn't care if they worried.

Flinging open the front door, he stormed outside. Free of their judgments and worried glances, Ben let himself _feel_.

For the first time in what felt like absolutely forever, Ben felt anger. Pure, unbridled anger. It filled him, heating his face and clenching his fists. He hadn't been allowed to feel this much rage in months! It felt... good. His heartbeat sped up a little, as the fury was accompanied with adrenaline. Real adrenaline. Forget his inner serenity. He knew the dangers of the dark side; Luke's voice was nagging him deep in his subconscious but he silenced it. That didn't matter anymore. He didn't have to care. He could think whatever he wanted to; Luke couldn't listen in. He was _free._

But he couldn't really be happy about it. Filled with this much frustration, all he could do was break out into a run. The wind nipped at his cheeks. It was surprisingly cold out. Ben hated to admit it, but he was glad he had his jacket.

After a few good minutes-maybe longer, he lost track-of running as hard as he could, the boy finally slowed. He was out of breath, his lungs felt like they were going to burst, but he didn't care. Most of his anger had alleviated. It was replaced by guilt and exhaustion. He fought a sigh and peered around himself. He blinked, startled. Where was he? He wasn't familiar with this area of the planet. There weren't many buildings. He spotted one or two houses, an inn... and what appeared to be a restaurant of sorts. Many speeders were parked outside of it, but he didn't see anyone near them. Panic rose within him.

Ben was lost. He didn't know anyone anywhere near him, and he didn't have a clue what was going on. For the first time in his life, Ben was completely and utterly alone.

 **A/N: I really didn't mean for this chapter to take so long to upload. I just kept getting stuck. Originally, this chapter was meant to be quite a bit longer, but I thought what I had was pretty solid. So, I cut it off here and decided to post it, since I figured you guys deserved a chapter.**

 **All that aside, though, I really hope you liked it. Don't be afraid to leave a review if you did! They make my day.**


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